The first 48 hours

The first hours after a death can feel as if everything is needed from you at once. It isn’t. A few calls matter today, and almost everything else can wait until you have slept.

Who to call first

It depends on where the death happened.

• At home, with hospice. Call the hospice nurse. They confirm the death and help with the next calls. You don’t need to call 911.
• At home, without hospice. Call 911, or the local non-emergency line if the death was expected. A medical examiner may be involved. That’s routine.
• In a hospital or care home. The staff will guide you. They will ask which funeral home to call, and you can take a few hours to decide.

Choose who will care for the body

A funeral home or cremation provider collects the body and starts the death certificate. Before you pick one, check whether there is a prepaid plan or written wishes: they may already name a provider.

You don’t have to choose everything on the first call. Ask them to collect the body and to email their itemized price list. The arrangements can be made a day or two later.

In the first two days

1. Tell the people closest to you. Call the few who should hear it from you. Ask one of them to tell everyone else.
2. Look for written wishes. A will, a letter, a prepaid funeral plan or an organ donor card.
3. Keep the home safe. Lock doors, move the car off the street, and arrange care for pets.
4. Start a notebook. Write down who you called, when, and what they said. You will need it later.

What can wait

• Burial, cremation and the service. These usually happen in the first week or two, not the first day.
• The obituary. Most families publish it three to five days later.
• Banks, benefits and accounts. Weeks, not days. You will need death certificates first.
• The house and their belongings. Months. Nothing needs to be sorted or given away now.

Look after yourself, too

Eat something, sleep when you can, and let people help. If someone offers, give them a job from the list.