What to do after a death,
one step at a time
I’m so sorry. You don’t have to do everything today. The weeks after a death usually have the same shape: a few calls today, some decisions in the first days, then the paperwork, a piece at a time.
What happens, and when
Times are typical, not rules. Skip anything that doesn’t apply to you.
The first hours
Step 1: Someone has died
A few calls matter today. Almost everything else can wait.
Who to call first
At home, with hospice
Call the hospice nurse.
They confirm the death and help with the next calls. You don’t need to call 911.
At home, without hospice
Call 911, or the local non-emergency line if the death was expected.
Someone will come to confirm the death. A medical examiner may be involved. That’s routine.
In a hospital or care home
The staff will guide you.
They handle the first steps and will ask which funeral home to call. You can take a few hours to decide.
Then, when you’re ready:
- Close family and friends who should hear it from you.
- A funeral home or cremation provider. There’s time to compare.
The details vary by state. The guides below go further.
The first 48 hours
What needs attention now, what can wait, and who to call.
Includes a checklist: First 48 hours checklist
Coming soonIf the death happens at home
Who to call first, with or without hospice.
Includes a checklist: Who to call first
Coming soonWhat can wait, and what can’t
A short list to put everything else down for a few days.
Includes a checklist: This week, and later
Day 1 to 2
Step 2: Choose a funeral home or cremation provider
Burial, cremation or something else, and who will handle it. Compare before you commit.
Coming soonBurial, cremation and alternatives
Every option side by side, with timelines and what drives cost.
Includes a checklist: Questions to ask any provider
Coming soonWhat a funeral actually costs
Line by line, what is required, and what is extra.
Includes a template: Price comparison sheet
Day 2 to 3
Step 3: The arrangement meeting
You sit down with a funeral home to choose and sign. Know your rights first.
Coming soonYour rights under the Funeral Rule
What a funeral home has to give you, and what you can refuse.
Includes a checklist: What they must give you
Coming soonWhat to ask before you sign
Ten questions that protect you from paying for what you didn’t want.
Includes a checklist: Before you sign
Days 3 to 5
Step 4: Share the news more widely
Close family already knows. Now friends, work, and the obituary.
Coming soonHow to write an obituary
A simple shape, examples, and where to publish it.
Includes a template: Obituary starter
Weeks 1 to 3, or later
Step 5: The service
A funeral, a memorial, or a gathering later. There is no wrong choice.
Coming soonFuneral, memorial or celebration of life?
What each one is, and why many families now wait weeks.
Coming soonPlanning a service that fits your family
Religious, secular, small or large, now or later.
Includes a template: Service order
Coming soonWriting and giving a eulogy
Start with one story. A structure that gets you to the end.
Includes a template: Eulogy outline
Weeks 2 to 4
Step 6: After the burial or cremation
Getting the ashes back, and deciding what comes next.
Coming soonWhat happens after cremation
Getting the ashes back, and the choices you have from there.
Includes a product list: Choosing an urn
Weeks 3 to 8
Step 7: The paperwork starts
Death certificates, then banks, benefits and everyone else.
Coming soonDeath certificates: how many and where from
Who needs a certified copy, and how to order more.
Includes a checklist: Who needs a certified copy
Coming soonWho to notify, and in what order
Benefits and banks first. A tracker a sibling can share.
Includes a template: Notification tracker
Look after yourself, too
Grief doesn’t wait for the paperwork. Eat something, sleep when you can, and let people help. If it gets heavy, talking to someone can help.
Who can help
The people families usually call in these weeks. Each page explains the service before listing anyone.